The Problem with saying, ““ I love Jesus, but I don’t need the church”

Unpopular opinion:

When you say, “ I love Jesus, but I don’t need the church”

What you’re saying is not rooted in biblical + physiological truth.

You were wonderfully designed, and part of that design is the innate desire for human connection. Your God designed body literally craves connection and needs it to survive.

God created you and knows this about you, which is partly why He gave us each other as we venture on the quest to draw others towards Him when we choose to be part of something bigger than ourselves: Spreading the gospel to a lost and dying world and being invested in His church.

When I hear people say “I don’t need the church,” what I hear is that they do not really grasp the importance of the Lords church or what Jesus died for.

And that is often a loaded topic to unpack. But instead of unpacking, many dismiss the idea of being invested in the church all together.

But this is not biblical. You cannot have Jesus without His church, it is His body (Matthew 16:18).

With that said, I think it’s also important for we, as members of the church, to start asking, “are we actually the church that Jesus died for? And are we the church that lost and broken people can look at and see a piece of Jesus through our love, service, and connection to one another and so much so people long to have what we have?

Or do we treat corporate worship + gathering together in a building like a check list?

Are we actually invested in one another’s lives? Or do we just show up to services and quickly leave because we are more invested in the world?”

We are the church. The church is not a building. Are we living like it? Do people know that?

This is not me condemning anyone, I actually used to be the person that would rush out of services on Sundays and Wednesdays and for years missed out on authentic close knit relationships. I looked down on church members and sought relationships else where.

It was not until I got brutally honest with myself that a shift occurred and I allowed members of my local church to become close enough to develop deep relationships with.

So this is me approaching this topic with curiosity and encouraging you to do the same.

The truth is, people turn away from the church for many reasons.

Sometimes it’s due to ego, often it is due to lack of relationships, and very often

it is due to “church hurt.”

But I wonder, if it is at its roots, it is partially due to lack of unity? And lack of knowledge as to how to work through “church hurt” because we often are not equipped to deal with it.

I hear it often said from members, “people just aren’t interested in church anymore.”

But I find that to be the opposite of the truth. Young people today are searching, and more “spiritual” than ever. I meet people all the time who are searching for connection + are interested in growing deeper with God.

So that cannot be the full truth.

I think both parties, church members + those who leave, have a responsibility to one another. And part of that responsibility involves asking hard questions and getting brutally honest with self reflection.

Perhaps one side should be asking, “are we living like those in the Bible and being the church Jesus died for? Relationally, doctrinally, and spiritually? How about contextually? Are we a place people become invested in, so much so that it feels like they are losing a family member when they chose to depart?”

Or do we wait until people just quit showing up for services for months to apply “church discipline” but they have been so disconnected relationally for years so it doesn’t really matter at that point?

And the other end, for those who left:

“did I treat those people as if they should be perfect and am I pushing them away out a fear based response?

Did I truly seek out connection?

When I faced church hurt, did I seek repair?

Am I fearful of being hurt again and this is causing me to shut out the church?

Am I fearful of being let down?

Am I attending church as a consumer rather than going to serve?”

While it is true our brothers and sisters in Christ can be malicious and hurt us the most, it is also true we were not meant to do this life alone. We are called to be part of the church. It is all through scripture. And part of that involves seeking to repair relationships + seeking connection instead of completely giving up on the church in general.

The church is not filled with perfect people, which is why throughout scripture we have Paul’s words encouraging us to treat each other with humility, patience, and bear with one in another in love, in his words like:

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3

Jesus’ life and ministry involved putting up with a lot of things and situations that hurt Him. Could you imagine the hurt He faced when Peter denied Him? What if He turned His back on Peter due to “church hurt?” What if He turned His back on us? Where would we be?

Church hurt is real, and it is traumatic and it hurts, but that is the reason we have words like:

“Forgive one another” Eph 4:32

“Go to the person when you have a problem.” Matthew 18:15-20.

People seeking unity + love and relationships-with one another will have ruptures occur. But scripture is filled with ways to repair, forgive, and grow stronger.

This does not mean we cannot set boundaries with certain members or part ways after the hurt has occurred and repair has failed. We also have examples of that in the scriptures.

But it does mean we are called to be invested and knit together with a local body of believers, so we cannot stop investing and say “I love Jesus, but I don’t need the church.”

It is not rooted in truth.

Just because someone has potentially misrepresented the church to you, please do not give up on us and please do not stop seeking connection with a local body of believers. Come home