Your Willpower is Not Enough…
Your willpower is not very powerful, unless it is strengthened by your character, empowered by the Spirit of God, + anchored to the yoke of Jesus. Let’s talk about it.
Your willpower is your human capacity to make a choice.
Your character is the way you think, feel, and behave and is highly influenced by your daily habits, thought patterns + what you consume (physically + emotionally) on a daily basis.
Your physiology also influences your will power and your willpower can become a slave to your underlying desires, habits, and your actions will follow. Your physiology + habits may actually even overpower your willpower at times, if precautions are not taken. It is why Paul constantly warns us to take our thoughts captive (Rom 12:1-2) + take measures to refine our character (Philippians 4: 8). And it is why we are told to walk in the Spirit to avoid fulfilling the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5: 16). Here is an example:
You feel you are addicted to scrolling on your phone and you want to change the habit of reaching for it first thing in the morning + replace that habit with prayer. But for the past year you have had a habit of reaching for your phone as soon as you wake up in the morning.
As you have developed this habit, a pattern has developed in your physiology. Your brain receives a dopamine hit each time you open your phone and see a new notification. Your body essentially begins craving those dopamine hits each morning. So as you are seeking to change this habit, you are having to battle your flesh. Failure to take this piece in mind when making changes, will keep you in a cycle.
You try to avoid being on your phone in the morning, and rely solely on your own will power. A few days go by and you revert back. Then you end up discouraged and feeling stuck. As you continue this pattern you begin spinning in toxic shame and guilt, thinking thoughts like: “I am a bad christian because I can’t stay off my phone. I should do better.” You then compare yourself to other women and become even more discouraged and before you know it you are stuck in a negative thinking pattern + spiraling into shame. Why? Your character + habits are not supporting your will power.
What if you tried this instead?
You recognize + admit you have a problem you want to change (this brings awareness to your habit, without awareness, nothing changes.).
You honor the fact that you are human, and need support, and need the assistance of something bigger than yourself, so you turn to God for help. You begin praying about this habit and asking God to expose your heart + refine your habits, because you know your willpower is not always enough and you need the Spirit involved in any change you want to make.
You support your willpower by changing your physical habits, like making it hard to be on your phone in the morning. Maybe that means getting an alarm clock and leaving your phone in your living room. Maybe it means turning off your wifi. Whatever that looks like, it has to disrupt the pattern + support your goal.
Instead of shaming yourself (toxic shame keeps us in survival mode + dys-regulated), you apply compassion when you fall short + repent when needed.
You celebrate small wins. Maybe your goal was to be off your phone all morning, but you only lasted 10 minutes. That is still a small win and counting small wins actually boosts your dopamine!
You set new goals with this process in mind.
Your willpower is not enough. And that is kind of the point and beauty of the gospel and honestly, this truth has the capacity to be a huge healing balm to our nervous systems when we lean into it and live accordingly.
Want to learn more about spiritual formation and holistic health tips through a biblical lens? Connect with Megan on Instagram: @refined.wellness.by.megan
